Cannes Shakes Up Tradition with Shocking Red Carpet Crackdown

I’ll admit, I never thought I’d see the day when Cannes—a festival infamous for both cinematic boundary-pushing and gowns bigger than my first apartment—would start laying down the law on “decency.” Apparently, the organizers have decided enough is enough: full nudity on the red carpet? Non, merci! Voluminous dresses that threaten to create their own gravity? Also a no-go. Is this an earnest attempt to preserve a bit of Gallic decorum, or a thinly veiled plot to finally end those impromptu red carpet games of “guess-who’s-under-there”? Makes you wonder—what, precisely, does Cannes consider “too much exposure”: the body, or the ego wrapped inside ten layers of silk? Is it possible that next year’s most daring look will now be a tastefully muted sock and a turtleneck? Either way, the public has thoughts—and they’re as colorful as a Wes Anderson film. Ready to see how everyone’s taking this fashion crackdown? LEARN MORE.

Cannes Film Festival issued an updated red carpet dress code that effectively bans full nudity and “voluminous” ensembles, citing “decency reasons.” What do you think?

“Look, they never said where my black tie was supposed to go.”

William Alidor, Cone Placer

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“Good. Cannes is about late-career vanity projects, not smut.”

Isaiah Suarez, Cactus Pruner

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“Surely this rule has a Stanley Tucci exemption clause.”

Kathy Blomster, Library Sanitizer