Mysterious Alarm Triggers Sudden White House Evacuation—What Set It Off?
“Today, we honor the many brave biological men and women who lost their lives protecting Donald Trump from pronouns, allyship, and tolerance,” said House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), adding that the fallen would always be remembered as true patriots who stood in the way of someone expressing their gender. “These were more than just government workers. They were real, red-blooded alpha males with defined muscles, baritone voices, and strong, angular chins. They were quiet, docile trad wives who loved to cook, clean, and gratify every sexual desire of their husbands.”
“It takes a real hero to face the reality of being in the same vicinity as a trans person,” Johnson added. “And for that, we will be forever grateful.”
Several Cabinet members praised Trump’s bravery and circulated triumphant footage of the president raising his fist, unzipping his pants, flashing his penis at the cameras, and saying, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”
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