This Baby Was Frozen in Time—The Astonishing Story of a 31-Year-Old Embryo’s Birth
Just when I thought my freezer nightmares were limited to ancient Lean Cuisines and a petrified bag of peas, along comes a story that’s got my jaw somewhere near my shoes . Can you even imagine being introduced to the world after chilling (literally) for over three decades? This Ohio couple’s baby, developed from an embryo frozen longer than half the influencers on TikTok have been alive, is officially holding the record for “most patient entrance ever.” I mean, honestly, wouldn’t you have some questions for your parents after spending 30+ years in a deep freeze? Like, “Mom, did you remember to defrost me, or was I wedged between two Tombstone pizzas and a lasagna?” It’s wild, it’s weird, and—let’s face it—it makes the idea of cleaning out your freezer suddenly feel very high-stakes . Feeling curious? Slightly unsettled? Or just hoping your own leftovers don’t sprout legs? Either way, there’s more hilarity (and possibly existential dread) where this came from—LEARN MORE.
An Ohio couple gave birth to a baby developed from an embryo that had been frozen for more than 30 years, which appears to be the longest storage time before a birth. What do you think?
“It’s so pathetic to be 30 years old and still living in your mother’s womb.”
Jonny DeCarlo, Retired Milliner
“What better time to bring a child into this world than now?”
Hannah Gertz, Apolitical Cartoonist
“You never know what you’ll find in the back of your freezer.”
Cory Golikow, Wheat Grinder
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