Unbelievable Success: How The Onion Took Over the Box Office Against All Odds

Captain America: Brave New World: Jesus Christ, they’ve even got Harrison Ford doing
Marvel movies now. Night Of The Zoopocalypse: Just barely cheaper than a babysitter, assuming the kids have a big lunch beforehand.

A Minecraft Movie: This big-screen adaptation of the popular sandbox video game weaves a tale of limitless imagination
bound only by strict brand guidelines. The

Accountant 2: As a society, we fail when
we let Ben Affleck keep doing this to us.

The Brutalist (Shout-Along Cut): In response to theaters prohibiting such disruptions during screenings of the original film, this cut will finally allow fans to shout along to László Toth’s rants about architecture.

You Had This Idea First: And now it’s a
critical and commercial smash starring Miles Teller. This is why you should have just
written it!

The Secret Life Of Plants: Universal Pictures presents this charming look at what your plants get up to when you’re gone for the day,
which, frankly, is not much.

The Day The Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie: This will be a great film to see with the whole family, at least until you realize your kids have no idea who the Looney Tunes are, sending you into an existential crisis.

Batman Ninja Vs. Yakuza League: Bruce Wayne faces new threats in a movie inspired by a 6-year-old’s cartoon drawing that James
Gunn found on the ground.