23 Therapists Reveal the Shocking Signs They Knew Their Relationships Were Doomed—and How They Handled It
Eventually the therapist leans back and says something to the effect of: “You’re right. If you don’t want to be in the relationship there’s nothing I can do, nor do I think I should try to talk you out of it. If you don’t want therapy, maybe you would be better off apart.”
Apparently she looked incredulous and they got up and left. The ridiculous part is that she apparently called the therapist about a half hour after that screaming, saying what a bad therapist he was and how they were going to prove him wrong and make things work. Apparently all she needed to want to make an effort was to be told she couldn’t do it. People are funny sometimes.
My cousin is a marriage counselor, and she said that most couples visiting her have one person who is trying to rebuild the relationship, and the other one has already mentally packed up and left. The sessions usually turn into grief counseling for the one who hasn’t figured out it’s over already.
Therapist here. I have a lot more experience with family therapy as opposed to just strictly seeing couples.
Generally it wouldn’t be appropriate to tell a client what to do, especially with an enormous life decision like divorce. I did see a couple where I thought it was very unlikely that they’d be able to reconcile because they would not put aside their need to hurt each other emotionally in order to do the necessary work to repair their marriage. Plus the wife had disclosed to me that she only was staying in the marriage out of guilt and was miserable.
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