23 Therapists Reveal the Shocking Signs They Knew Their Relationships Were Doomed—and How They Handled It
Heterosexual couples where men refuse to accept that their female partners have anything valuable to say.
Couples who want me to be a referee.
Couples where one partner “just knows that so-and-so is cheating and why wont they just admit it already.”
Fighting I can handle. Intimacy issues I can handle. But folks that want me to wave a magic wand and fix their marriage, folks who are trapped in an ideological box that tells them they don’t need to do any work, are usually not ready for help.
I’m not technically licensed yet, but I’m practicing as a couples therapist. My own personal belief is that I don’t know if a couple can make it or not. There are tons of different kinds of marriages, and people get really creative at making it work.
I’ve only been at it a year, but I’ve seen some pretty amazing things, including couples on the brink of divorce getting back to where they used to be, and some pretty sexist husbands start to realize that maybe women are worth respecting. Its taught me to not give up hope.
That said, I won’t help couples who are actively violent- especially if there’s power involved (ie, only one of the partners is violent towards the other, rather than both get physical with each other). For that, I suggest they separate until the violent one can get some coping skills and be safe.
Former therapist. There is no such thing as being right for each other.
Any two people can make a positive life together if they so choose. However, communication, understanding, and acceptance play huge roles in that.
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