44 Everyday Truths About Womanhood Men Wish They Understood Sooner
Being constantly vigilant/ having situational awareness. My partner just goes through life feeling safe and secure. The number of times I’ve pointed out sketchy s**t to him that was just *not* on his radar has been astonishing. Even just being aware of where others are. I never run into or accidentally block people out in public because I’m aware of where everyone is in relation to me, my partner is just oblivious to his position in relation to others.
That they do know people who have had abortions, even if they think they haven’t.
That I can’t just “put it in my pocket.” There’s no pockets. Yeah, I know it looks like a pocket, it’s not. Ok yes this one DOES have a pocket, that can fit exactly three quarters OR one chapstick, and even those aren’t guaranteed not to fall out if I bend over, switch between standing/sitting, remove/adjust the clothing to use the washroom, or just *walk.* People who have only ever worn men’s clothing take their pockets for granted. My 2-year-old nephew has onesies with functional pockets, like w***?
My husband asked me why I don’t park in the middle of the driveway when he’s out of town, I told him I don’t want anyone to think I’m not always expecting him home.
Why we need a trashcan next to the toilet. Our condo has a door separating the toilet and shower from the sinks, and he moved the trashcan under the sink, instead of next to the toilet, where it was. Thought it was genius. I had to explain to him why we need to at least have a trashcan right next to the toilet, and why that’s important when a woman lives in the house.
We can lose a leg or die if we leave a tampon in too long. It’s called toxic shock syndrome.
Normal, everyday things like using a public restroom, or showering, take us longer and are more difficult due to a complex system of “little things” that just never work out in our favor – that even we don’t notice until we’re middle-aged. Public bathroom stalls are so tiny, it’s hard for us to move around with our phones or keys in our hands the whole time, or our purses, or children. (…and why would I be holding my phone in one hand, and my keys in the other hand, the whole time while using the toilet? Because I don’t have any pockets! …and why don’t I use a purse? Because they hurt and are uncomfortable and neck straps burn my shoulders, are easy to set down and lose, and I also just don’t want to! And it shouldn’t matter!) Showering is ridiculous because we have large shampoo bottles (or whatever hair products) that fall on the ground every time we move…When we wash long hair, it flings around water, and our elbows knock things off of shelves. …why are there no big ledges in showers? After 100+ years of people using showers, there’s still no ledge big enough to hold bottles in most showers?? Beats me! Why are there no places to sit down in the shower for leg shaving? Why do I have to contort my body like a flamingo with one leg propped up on a faucet or a ledge trying not to slip or drop my razor on the ground and break it…in order to shave my legs? Why are faucets and shower hardware, doors, glass walls and doors SO difficult to clean…why is it even possible to design a tub so deep, that you HAVE to slide down the ledge to get all the way inside of it just to clean 1 spot on a wall. Why are sink faucets so close to the the wall that you can’t fit a paper towel or a sponge back there to clean? Why, whenever I talk about these things I get called a “raging feminist” and laughed at.
How our discharge bleaches our underwear. I had partners in the past that got disgusted by it.
Something that still hasn’t settled in his head – the fact that when you give birth you can tear all the way to your a*****e, that you can (pretty commonly) get diastasis recti, or other conditions that can become lifelong. When I told him these things he said “you love exaggerating these things just to justify that you don’t want kids, no woman who’s had a kid that I know has said these things” … Besides his mom or whatever he had never spoken to a pregnant woman/new mom in his life, let alone about their vaginas
How viscerally intimidating it is to have any male angry or yelling at you. I could be the strongest woman in the world, and even the most average guy would be able to physically dominate me. So doubly true that I am not very strong.
That his/my husband’s presence will alter the way some people interact with me. Or rather, ignore me altogether.
How little they know about periods. When I had been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months, I apologized for being upset and that it was just because of my period. He then asked, “didn’t you have your period last month?” He thought that women menstruated for an entire month, and then didn’t for the other 11 months of the year. He thought that periods were an annual thing. I was so shocked.
That i could not, in fact, let my ex-boss (who’s a man) drive me home. Context: me and my ex-boss kinda live in the same area and he has a car, i take public transport. More than one time he was offered to drive me home after work. He didn’t offer to drive anyone else home. And we end work at 9pm. Im not F*****g taking that risk
I think this is not exactly a thing only men do but I’ve encountered a lot of men who really believe the stereotypes/cliches of “how a woman acts or thinks” and that is like a “rule” that cannot change. They’ll say “a woman likes this” or “a woman always does that” and when I tell them is not true, they don’t believe me or think I’m “not like the other girls”. Then I have to start educating them in that yes, I’m like the other girls because we as humans are really complex and we can all like different things and we do not share a brain.
That (at least for me and my friends) parents treat you different just because you’re a woman. Less freedom, less independence, and its really all because of men and the dangers they raise to us. Its f*****g unfair. My boyfriend is always saying “ur parents didnt let you do x alone?” And they treat me totally different from my brother.
Had to explain my bf a few times that if we are wrestling and I say stop and he doesn’t because I say it laughing that it’s a horrible feeling. I learned I was laughing because of nerves or I don’t know why, a reflex. And he learned that if I said stop, even if I laugh, he has to stop bc I’m not joking. If he doesn’t stop, he triggers something bc I’m not as strong as he is and I get scared/cry. Thank god he learned.
The struggle of maintaining work life and the desire to not become pregnant, yet wanting a family but not wanting to sacrifice my career, and the simultaneous need to remain independent of a man.
I had to explain to my 62 y/o father how women sometimes bleed through their pad/tampon without realizing it and that it is, indeed, a valid excuse to go home and change. That was probably one of our more uncomfortable topics of conversation.
Yes. My [private parts] hurt for “no good reason”. Yes, my hormone cycles make them painful. Yes most women experience this. …That is reason #1 why it’s okay for my partner to touch my [butt] without asking permission every time, and permission is required for breast touching. Also had this conversation “why would you automatically think the sharp pain you’re experiencing while ovulating is an ovarian cyst?” Mmmm… it’s like one of the most common things to go wrong in that area…? Yeah, education on women’s bodies is so low.
If I’m in a new area, I always look for other women walking or jogging out on the street, especially if they’re alone. This will indicate to me if the area is “safe” or not.
I DON’T wash my hair every day and it takes longer than 5 minutes for it to dry.
He, like many men for some reason, thought that tampon/pad size was related to vaginal size…
A bit ago, my bf asked why I and other women he has known keep the plastic wrapper from pads. I explained to him that it is a courtesy thing, because the wrapper is good for rolling up the used pad. It helps conceal it as well as contain some of the odor. He was surprised, since it made perfect sense but that it never would have occurred to him.
Why my mood change before, during and after my period, why pregnancy affected my moods and thoughts process.
One time a guy asked me why sometimes women paint “just the middle of their nail all sloppy” I had to explain that we paint the entire fingernail but it chips off, leaving the middle.














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