45 Shocking Moments When Rude Passengers Met Their Match Mid-Flight—and Didn’t See It Coming
- Holding up the security line
- Ignoring the cabin crew and not greeting them
- Using the wrong overhead bin
- Demanding that flight attendants lift your bags for you
- Ignoring unwritten seating rules
- Not covering your face when you’re coughing or sneezing
- Dominating the window
- Eating extremely strong-smelling food
- Wearing strong perfume, body oils, or scented lotions
- Doing your time-consuming makeup routine in the bathroom
- Not having a concrete plan to keep your children entertained
So my ex-boyfriend and I once went on vacation and he had never been in a plane before. Our seats were separate because of late planning and it was cheaper. I had a window seat somewhere and he had an isle seat. So I offered him mine. He happily accepted and that’s that.
So on the plane back home he actually had a window seat and I had a middle seat. I asked him if we could trade now so I could sit by the window. He told me no, it was his spot and he wanted to sit there. I was kinda bummed but okay. What do you know, five minutes later the stewardess comes to ask me if I could change seats with someone upfront. Because of her crutches she wasn’t allowed to sit near an emergency exit. So I got the seat in the front, with no one beside me, next to a window and a ton of extra leg space. My ex came whining to me that he wanted to switch seats now.
The relationship didn’t last very long after that.
For background: My degree was in Mandarin and I’d learned it for 5 years by the time of this revenge. Unless you look Asian, most Chinese people never expect that you could speak Mandarin, as was the case on this particular day.
This happened a few years ago as I was on the plane waiting for it to take off.
It was a big plane with the 3 – 4 – 3 seat structure, and I was sat in the right-middle seat of the central section. I’d been sat there for about 20 minutes and nobody had sat down by me yet, so I was getting excited that I would be able to have the row to myself. Sadly it was not to be. A team of Chinese university basketball players get on the plane wearing identical tracksuits and one of them sits by me. Oh well, my 4 seat dream is gone but never mind.
“Don’t you guys think lao wai* (Mandarin for gringo/farang/foreigner. See full definition below) smell like lamb kebabs?” says the guy as his teammates snicker. Let’s call him OT, for obnoxious twat. My ears prick up at this point and I’m a little bit annoyed.
“You should be careful talking like that” says a middle aged man who I assume is their coach. I start to feel a bit better – he’s giving the guy a warning… but nope.
“some lao wai can understand Mandarin.”
An obnoxious little git making fun of me to my right, and a coach who thinks it’s completely fine sat in front. Now I’m really starting to get annoyed.
Another minute or two passes and OT mouths off again. “Hey, have you ever noticed how lao wai always take their shoes off on flights?”
‘Right.’ I think ‘Well I’m definitely taking mine off then.’
I start unlacing my shoes and just as I take the first one off OT excitedly says “Guys! The lao wai next to me is taking his shoes off right now! Just like I said!”
I sit back up, and say to him in Chinese “‘What did you say?” Cue a look of sheer panic on OT’s face. Without a word, he stands up and finds another seat, leaving me the entire 4 seat section to myself for the whole flight. That’ll serve you right for talking trash about people you don’t think can understand you!
*Lao wai is not necessarily derogatory. It depends on context, however it is almost ALWAYS used when something bad is being said about you instead of other words for foreigner. As a foreign resident of China for 8 years and a learner of Mandarin for 10, this is my interpretation as somebody who this word has been used against multiple times. Some people don’t agree. Check comments for other interpretations.
I recently took a flight from Germany to Macedonia. Not even leaving the gate, I felt my seat shaking. Turning around, I saw a man grabbing the back of my seat. He saw me, removed his hand, and I thought that was that. But no, he repeated this act multiple times within the next 10 minutes. Each time I’d lean back trying to press against his hand, making him retract it.
After the plane took off, the shaking resumed. I looked back again, but this time, he was only grabbing the very top, out of my head’s reach. I dramatically turn around, looking back from the aisle, he’s just looking/talking to a woman three rows back, presumably his partner. They’d likely opted for the cheaper ‘random seat selection’, hence the distance. When our eyes met, he pulled his hand away.
By this point, he’d done this at least 20times and I was getting irritated, to say the least. The next time I felt the shaking, pretending to stretch, I wet my fingers with a generous lick, near spit on them, grabbed the back of my seat, and just doused his hand. Needless to say, he didn’t touch my seat for the remainder of the flight.
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