75 Common “Flexes” That Secretly Reveal the Opposite of Success—Are You Guilty?
“I can name all the Disney princesses“ (from a 45 yr old man).
He’s married but has no kids. And he said it with a straight face. Not the slightest bit of sarcasm. Just wanted to let people know.
I have a coworker in his 60s who brags about fights he won in elementary school. Like, watch out, we got a bada*s over here.
Guy in front of me got stopped at customs and said very loudly and very slowly to the agent: “I am an international businessman.”
This was 20 years ago and I think of it weekly. No actual international businessman has ever described themselves that way.
“I dont love my wife but she thinks I do. Overall I dont have feelings for people”. He did not say this as it was a problem, but proud of it.
“i dont like your father but i stay with him for you”
every professional ive spoken to and the rest of my family all agree that my parents shouldve split up because they treat eachother and me like absolute a*s.
“I don’t take sick days; I just come to work and do my job”. We work in education, funny how he isn’t here post 2021. But you know.. we have years of whole classes getting sick to look back on.
“I was a virgin before I got here. Since then I’ve had s*x with like 20 girls.” Freshman friend of my college roommate. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was still a virgin and given my roommate and his other friends reaction, they probably thought so too.
“I have kids, I’ve passed on my genetic code” – my brother bragging to me whilst being jobless, owing thousands in child support, and barely seeing his kids.
“I have a bachelor degree in psychology. As your friend I just want to help you and you seriously need a visit to the psych ward since I suspect you’re borderline personality disorder.”
I was stunned by this person and her claims (only a clinical psychologist can confirm formal diagnosis if borderline personality disorder or any other diagnoses . I asked her politely why and she told me that I was having severe identity issues. I told her I knew who I was. She was very upset and we needed help(ironic) but we didn’t get it. Oh well. Luckily she did GET PROFESSIONAL help and I don’t have borderline personality disorder.
I once had a classmate brag that he could rotate molecules in his head faster than another student. We were all chemistry majors. 🙄.
A friend of mine said she was proud of convincing her nephew out of applying for high school.
A co-worker once told me he got a police ‘escort’ out of his previous job for threatening to k**l his boss. He then made a mic drop motion with his hand followed by a little gotcha style laugh. This was in response to our boss walking by our work station without saying hello.
Sister in law brags about how hard it is to get her blood drawn. Was especially proud when the cancer infusion people had to help her once. Like why is that a good thing, it sounds awful.
Working at a call center for a local medical group. Kind of a sad place with cubicles that were three feet wide and the walls went all the way up to the ceiling.
The woman I was shadowing was proudly telling me that today was her tenth anniversary with the company, and as a reward she got an additional paid day off. So if I work hard, I could have FOUR paid days off in ten years.
The only job I straight up walked out of.
“I went to college!”
This was said to me with indignation by a customer at a Barnes & Noble as part of a tantrum when I, an employee, kindly asked that he be careful reading a book (that he didn’t pay for) in our cafe while drinking the coffee I just handed him.
My exes terrible step dad moved their family into the worst neighborhood in town and told me directly “I moved my family here because this is where I grew up and look how good I turned out”
I mean the guy was well off. He was a foreman of a construction company. Well paid.
I guess he wanted me to ignore the 12 years of federal prison for armed robbery and attempted murder 🤷.
Older gent, engineer. I don’t share info with anyone incase they know more than me and steal my job. What an idiot. .
I work in mental health care. on my first day two people turned their noses up at me for working in admin because they were both counsellors, and then one of them bragged about not being able to meditate because her “thoughts just go too fast”. congratulations you will be horrible to your patients and either disorganised or really stressed out? well done? I would never want to receive treatment from someone that puts someone down for doing a different job to them?
A friend said this: “My mom flies her housemaid in business class with her so she doesn’t have to carry any luggage, even her handbag.”
Im from India, and her mom travels to like 10 countries a year, lol.
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