75 Common “Flexes” That Secretly Reveal the Opposite of Success—Are You Guilty?
“there was a couple in the shop setting up monthly payments for their pram, they must have looked at us, young couple, nice car and been jealous we just bought the pram outright” – my brother, leaving out a very important part… He was given the money to buy the pram by his in laws, it wasn’t his money. Also my parents bought his car 🙃.
Someone describing themselves as a “Hardcore vaper”.
Don’t brag about being an a****t.
“I’m such a good liar. You won’t believe the things I’ve said that people believe.”
We were at work. And Yes, they had a Sales role.
My mom’s husband who is mid to late 40s was bragging to my sister that he made a $3500 commission as a realtor. Now that would be impressive right except he was previously an engineer making 6 figures and refused to accept any salary less than 150k so now he’s a real estate agent. Also that was the only commission he made in 8 months. He’s also the kind of guy who tells people if you work hard enough you can be a millionaire, poor people choose to be poor. .
Years ago I went to a Mexican restaurant with my cousins. One of them starts mouthing off to the waitress because she forgot his sour cream. His equally-annoying brother tries to flirt with the waitress like “I’m not a p***y and I can eat Mexican food without sour cream”. He pauses so the Mexican waitress can congratulate him but she just goes (sigh) “ok”.
“I went to school on Halloween dressed as The Crow. Not Eric Draven from the movie but the character from my fanfic.” -that person was me.
“I make the best kool aid. “ she was so proud at the age of close to 60. I said what do you use? “Two cups of sugar per package. “. Ugh.
“I just tell it like it is. I ain’t gonna hold nothin’ back. I don’t give a f**k what anybody thinks.”
-Redneck flex.
Okay, you have no grace, no decorum and no concern about the feelings of others.
One day during my Masters program, my friends and I were discussing the dorm bathroom setup. One of my hall-mates shared that when she had to go in the middle of the night, she preferred peeing into a Ziploc bag and dropping it out of her third floor window into the dumpster directly below. I’ve never heard a table get shocked into silence so quickly.
A boss at my old job once told me he’d “never let his wife ride the bus.”
First, congratulations on owning a car. Second, what, does she have to ask you to leave the house? Are you not married to an adult who can make her own decisions?
My one college roommate and I had like a 10 minute conversation when he claimed his s**t didn’t stink. I laughed at first because I thought it was a joke based on the popular idiom, but no, as he continued talking I realized he really, genuinely, thought his s**t didn’t stink.
As a roommate, you learn things about people you sometimes wish you didn’t. But I can verify, his s**t didn’t not stink. .
This dude I worked with a while ago would come into work every Monday with a new story about how he survived some 50 mph motorcycle accident or gotten into a huge fight. Like dude you just sound like an unstable liar.
Not necessarily a flex but a guy from another company called me and said “my name is ‘von something’ and I insist on the ‘von’ “.
Needless to say everyone at my work kept calling him just ‘something’.
Me, an adult, visiting a friend whose cousin (also both adults) was also there. I said something and used “google” like a verb and the cousin yelled, “WE BING IN THIS HOUSE,” like he was scolding a child. I laughed but he yelled it again louder.
Last place I worked had a woman who bragged about having the most sick time and not using it. But would come in sick and work then complain when people would call out because they got sick.
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