“Are Strong Feelings Making Him Mute? Surprising Study Reveals Why Your Crush Might Be Ghosting You!”
Have you ever found yourself staring at your phone, that little blue notification area taunting you like a cruel cosmic joke? I mean, how hard is it to send a quick “hey” back? Well, folks, hold onto your bats, because according to an utterly fictitious study from those brainiacs at Harvard, it might just be that your crush is bogged down by feelings so intense that they’re, quite frankly, scared outta their minds! Picture this: the guy you’ve been daydreaming about isn’t ghosting you out of disinterest, but rather he’s overwhelmed by the tidal wave of emotion hitting him square in the chest. Yeah, that’s right—an imaginary scholarly paper has got our backs on this one! So let’s dive into the chaos of modern dating, where emotions run high and replies run slower than molasses in January! 
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Lending credence to the already widespread theory about the young man you fancy, an imaginary study published Tuesday by Harvard University found that your crush wasn’t texting you back because his feelings were so powerful that they frightened him. “Our research strongly indicates that the guy who gives…
