“Divine Amnesia: Newly Sober God Struggles to Remember the Day He Created Existence”
In a jaw-dropping revelation that might just shake the very foundations of the cosmos—yes, you heard me right—our omnipotent Creator has come clean about His rather hazy history! Picture this: the Almighty, lounging in the celestial lounge with a chilled Diet Coke in hand, candidly confesses that the creation of the universe might just be a blur. As He opens up about years of indulgence in a cocktail of booze and pills, we can’t help but wonder—what if the cosmic order we know was merely a drunken whim? “Everyone tells Me I made light and darkness, sea and sky,” He quips, “but to be honest, I was blacked out for most of that.” Talk about a divine hangover! So, as we dive into this intriguing satirical scoop, let’s ponder the existential quandary: if even God’s memory is hazy, what are we meant to forge from our own chaotic existence? Buckle up, folks, this one’s going to be a wild ride! 
THE HEAVENS—Sipping on a Diet Coke as He described the mix of alcohol and pills He had lived off of for years, a newly sober God admitted Tuesday that He had no recollection of creating the universe. “Everyone tells Me I made light and darkness, sea and sky, but to be honest, I was blacked out for most of that…
