“RFK Jr.’s Surprising Cabinet Picks: Who’s in Line for Power in a Potential RFK Jr. Administration?”
In a turn of events that feels straight out of a comedy sketch, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has declared that he’s being courted for multiple Cabinet positions in his own hypothetical administration. Yes, you heard that right! I mean, who wouldn’t want to have the ultimate power of appointments in a government where you’re simultaneously the head honcho? “I’m honored that a leader as admirable as RFK Jr. would consider RFK Jr. for the roles of secretary of state, secretary of transportation, and attorney general,” he quipped, showing a remarkable ability to be both the candidate and the cabinet—maybe he should just appoint himself everything! He even humorously mentioned “taking multiple meetings with himself” to discuss how productive that would be, which poses an intriguing question: if you can’t find someone better for the job than yourself, is that validating or simply hilarious? However, just as he began to ladder up those positions, whispers of his past statements regarding AIDS might’ve knocked him off the potential shortlist. Talk about a wild political rollercoaster!
MALIBU, CA—According to a statement issued by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Robert F. Kennedy Jr. received an offer Thursday for multiple Cabinet positions in a potential administration of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. “I am honored that a leader as admirable as RFK Jr. would consider RFK Jr. for positions as important as secretary of state, secretary of transportation, and attorney general, among a dozen others,” said the independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who confirmed that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. had been promised multiple executive department roles in exchange for an enthusiastic endorsement of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. “I gladly took a meeting with myself—actually, I took many meetings with myself—and they were very productive. In fact, I look forward to accepting hundreds of other positions as well, from U.S. ambassador to France, Kenya, and Argentina to White House communications intern.” At press time, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. had reportedly been eliminated from consideration for any Cabinet role after his past remarks on the cause of AIDS came to light.
The post RFK Jr. Offered Multiple Cabinet Positions In RFK Jr.’s Administration, RFK Jr. Reports appeared first on The Onion.
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