“Trump’s Bold Critique: Are Hazard-Filled Fairways Turning Arlington National Cemetery Into a Golfing Controversy?”
In a world where golf courses boast pristine fairways and breathtaking views, one might expect the national cemetery—Arlington National Cemetery, no less—to at least meet basic golfing standards. But former President Donald Trump’s recent visit has uncovered an unexpected twist in this somber setting that left him lamenting not just the course, but the entire experience! Imagine teeing off in a place renowned for honoring fallen heroes only to find it sporting don’t-tread-on-me situations with gravestones and kneeling spectators. I mean, is it too much to ask for a lemonade on the green? Trump’s comments paint a surreal scene—one where golf carts get tangled in wreaths and balls hold up in what can only be described as a high-stakes sand trap centered around the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Now, while most people visit cemeteries for reflection and respect, Trump’s unfiltered critique opens up a bizarre dialogue: Can you really mix leisure sports with hallowed grounds? Well, he seems to have tried, and the results are—let’s just say—hilariously tragic! Buckle up as we delve into this curious blend of reverence and rivalry, where even the most sacred of spaces face the wrath of a golfer’s dissatisfaction.
WASHINGTON—Bemoaning the terrible course conditions he encountered while visiting the military burial site, Donald Trump called out Arlington National Cemetery on Thursday for its hazard-filled fairways. “I’ve played at amazing golf courses all over the world—like Augusta, Pinehurst, and Pebble Beach—and let me tell you, Arlington National Cemetery was the worst 18 holes I’ve ever played,” said the 45th president of the United States, adding that service was terrible at the 639-acre memorial, from the rude and overbearing guards, to the messy gravestones littered everywhere, to the distracting spectators who kept kneeling down and praying. “Immediately after I teed off, I had no idea where the holes were, my golf cart started sucking up wreaths, and my ball got caught in this huge trap called the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Plus, it was impossible to order a lemonade or a BLT. The waitress I called over just started sobbing.” At press time, Trump added that this was exactly why he preferred playing at Trump golf courses, where there was only one grave and it belonged to his late ex-wife.
The post Trump Calls Out Arlington National Cemetery For Hazard-Filled Fairways appeared first on The Onion.
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