“Are Ultra-Processed Foods Behind the Hidden Epidemic? Unraveling the Truth Beneath the Myths!”
In a world where frozen pizzas, sodas, and overly sweetened breakfast cereals reign supreme, have you ever stopped to ponder—are we truly aware of what we’re putting into our bodies? Ultra-processed foods are often shrouded in a fog of misconceptions ranging from their nutritional value to their potential health impacts. Well, fear not! In this illuminating piece, The Onion dives into the spicy realm of food myths and reveals some rather entertaining truths. Spoiler alert: you might learn that chips are not just a snack but an experience worth savoring—fingertips and all. Join us as we unravel these myths with a side of humor that might just make you rethink that next bowl of cereal! LEARN MORE.
Ultra-processed foods are a category of foods that includes frozen pizzas, sodas, and sweetened breakfast cereals. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding ultra-processed foods.Â
MYTH: Ultra-processed foods contain few nutrients.
FACT: Ultra-processed foods are rich in simple carbohydrates, sodium, and trans fats.
MYTH: Ultra-processed foods have little value.
FACT: It’s impossible to quantify how much fun eating chips off your fingertips is.
MYTH: Homemade versions are always healthier than ultra-processed alternatives.
FACT: You use two sticks of butter in your spaghetti recipe.
MYTH: Foods with long ingredient lists should be avoided.
FACT: It’s best to just give up and acclimate yourself to a future of freeze-dried, bunker-stable food now.
MYTH: Multiple studies have linked ultra-processed foods to depression.
FACT: Most people are perfectly capable of developing depression regardless of what they eat.
MYTH: The human body needs 10 servings of salted meats a day.
FACT: Dear Lord, no! This explains a lot, but still, dear Lord.
MYTH: Some ultra-processed foods are actually good for you.
FACT: No, hon. You cannot just have Oreos for dinner.
MYTH: Ultra-processed foods lead to heart disease.
FACT: You gotta die of something.
The post Ultra-Processed Foods: Myth Vs. Fact appeared first on The Onion.
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