“Celestial Messenger Awaits Reward: What Happens When an Archangel Goes Off Script?”
In a world where angels are supposed to bring divine messages, it seems like the Archangel Michael is just trying to make a quick buck too! In an utterly hilarious twist of celestial bureaucracy, our favorite angel recently lingered after delivering a holy proclamation—fingers crossed, hoping for a little gratitude in the form of a tip. Seriously, have we reached a point where even archangels are hustling for extra coins? Picture this: a towering figure rocking on his heels and casually mentioning the upkeep of his flaming sword, while desperately waiting for the man to open his wallet. It’s a side of spirituality we never saw coming! Join me as we delve into this absurd encounter that blurs the lines between divine intervention and the modern-day tipping culture. For the full scoop on this eyebrow-raising divine saga, LEARN MORE.
BAKERSFIELD, VT—Having proclaimed the word of the Lord Almighty before a humble, trembling man, the Archangel Michael reportedly hung around after delivering the divine message Friday in hopes of receiving a tip. “So was everything okay with your holy revelation? I’ll probably head back to heaven soon if that’s it—just a reminder that my name is Michael if you need anything else,†the towering archangel said as he rocked back and forth on his heels expectantly, twiddling a feather on one of his enormous wings while he waited for the man to take out his wallet. According to reports, the archangel then conspicuously cleared his throat to make sure the awestruck man noticed he was still there, after which he drummed his fingers upon the hilt of his flaming sword and passive-aggressively remarked that it really wasn’t cheap doing upkeep on a blade of that kind. At press time, sources confirmed the archangel had asked the man if he could use his bathroom.
The post Archangel Hangs Around After Delivering Message Hoping For Tip appeared first on The Onion.
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