“Unveiling the Unseen: Why Hollywood Thinks Vander Veer Botanical Park Needs a Subtle Introduction”
In a world where film audiences are often underestimated, one particular movie chyron has sparked outrage akin to a theater riot—yes, I’m talking about the moment a viewer was confronted with the sequentially simple yet utterly condescending chyron reading “Davenport, IA” while clearly gazing at Vander Veer Botanical Park. Seriously, does anyone really think that folks need a neon sign flashing “We’re in Davenport!” when they’re already eyeing its picturesque Grand Allée? It’s a reminder of how far we’ve come, or rather, how low some filmmakers think they can take us! I mean, what’s next—a chyron declaring “August” while we’re knee-deep in sweltering summer? Get ready to dive into the amusing fallout as disgruntled moviegoers like Marshall Helms question not only their ticket price but also the faith that film studios have in their audience’s intelligence. You won’t want to miss this absurd look at how far we might’ve strayed from trusting our viewers to piece together a locale’s significance. <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/MovieChyronNIBIHAGR-copy.jpg”>LEARN MORE.
NEW YORK—In a move widely criticized as insulting the intelligence of viewers, a movie chyron reportedly drew outrage Wednesday for reading “Davenport, IA” as if it wasn’t glaringly obvious that the establishing shot was of Vander Veer Botanical Park. “Yeah, no shit we’re in Davenport, IA—do they really think I need that spelled out for me when I’m looking right at Vander Veer Botanical Park’s historic Grand Allée?” said moviegoer Marshall Helms, who added that he had half a mind to demand a refund if the movie was going to continue with the condescending bullshit. “I can infer the setting from Vander Veer’s iconic Stone Fountain without some stupid chyron holding my hand the whole goddamn time, thanks. It’s probably just for international viewers, but I still find it demeaning when films have so little faith in their audience. I’m not some uncultured swine who will see Davenport’s Municipal Rose Garden and confuse it for the fucking Quad City Botanical Center without the movie’s help.” At press time, Helms reportedly stormed out of the theater after a second chyron reading “November” was overlaid on an unmistakable shot of Vander Veer Conservatory’s annual Chrysanthemum Festival.
CHECK OUT ALL THE HOTTEST DEALS ON AMAZON!
ESR for iPhone 16 Pro Max Case, Compatible with MagSafe, Shockproof Military-Grade Protection, Magnetic Phone Case for iPhone 16 Pro Max 6.9 inch, Clear
$14.99 (as of October 20, 2024 18:38 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Apple Watch Series 10 [GPS 46mm case] Smartwatch with Jet Black Aluminium Case with Black Sport Band - M/L. Fitness Tracker, ECG App, Always-On Retina Display, Water Resistant
$410.00 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Charger for HP Laptop Computer 65W 45W Smart Blue Tip Power Adapter
$9.90 (as of October 20, 2024 18:38 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Ninja Crispi Air Fryer, Microwave, Freezer & Dishwasher Safe, Non Toxic Glass Portable Cooking System, 4 QT & 6 Cup Glass Containers with Storage Lids, Easy Meals, Air Fry, Bake, & More Grey, FN101GY
$159.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Key Fob Replacement Batteries for Nissan (Rogue Altima Sentra Versa Pathfinder Murano Maxima Kicks Titan Frontier Infiniti Armada Leaf Juke Quest) Smart Remote (Pack of 2) (Check Fitment Guide)
$9.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Sweet Water Decor Warm and Cozy Soy Candle - Orange Peel, Cinnamon, Ginger and Clove Scented Candles for Home - 9oz Amber Jar + Black Lid, 40+ Hour Burn Time, Made in the USA
$19.99 (as of October 20, 2024 18:38 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
LeapFrog Learning Friends 100 Words Book, Green
$12.97 (as of October 20, 2024 18:38 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Mcupper 6 Pack Black Halloween Creepy Cloth (30 x 72 Inch), Halloween Gauze, Creepy Gauze for House, Outdoor, Yard and Halloween Decoration Indoor
$8.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
AstroAI L7 Tire Inflator Portable Air Compressor Cordless Bike Pump with Digital Dual Values Display, 150 PSI Car Tires Pump with LED Lights Air Pump for Cars, Motorcycles, Bikes, Balls
$20.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Post Comment