“Logan Paul Reveals Shocking Health Guidelines for ‘Ideal’ 9-Foot-Tall Kids: Is Prime the Ultimate Super Drink?”
In a world where 9-foot-tall children might just be the new norm, Logan Paul has entered the scene with a truly eyebrow-raising claim about his energy drink, Prime. Picture this: a pint-sized (in the realm of giants, anyway) 450-pound 8-year-old guzzling down the caffeinated concoction without a care in the world. But is it really safe for kids who tower over the tallest NBA players? Paul insists that as long as these little behemoths stick to the recommended dose, their massive frames will handle the 200 milligrams of caffeine just fine. After all, who wouldn’t trust a YouTuber with a penchant for wacky stunts to assure us of their health benefits? However, reports of heart palpitations among these colossal kids are raising eyebrows. So, if your child’s playing in the NBA by the age of ten, maybe think twice about that Prime! Curious for more details? LEARN MORE.
DORADO, PUERTO RICO—In response to concerns about the health effects of his popular line of drinks, YouTuber and entrepreneur Logan Paul claimed Thursday that Prime is perfectly healthy for the average 9-foot-tall, 400-pound child. “If Prime is consumed as recommended, there’s no reason that an ordinary 450-pound 8-year-old who’s nearly 10 feet tall should experience any negative effects,” said Paul, noting that one serving of the energy or sports drink varieties of Prime fell well within the daily recommended limits for the typical child who would tower over André the Giant. “To say that 200 milligrams of caffeine is too much doesn’t take into account how long that takes to get through the bloodstream of the average American child’s enormous physique. Sure, if your kid is on the small side— say, 7-feet, 300-pounds—they might want to drink Prime in a bit more moderation. But for the rest of the hulking child behemoths, there’s nothing to worry about.” At press time, several 9-foot-tall, 400-pound children had complained of extreme heart palpitations after drinking Prime.
