“From Court to Combat: Ja Morant’s Surprising Transformation into a Swordsmanship Aficionado!”
In a twist that’s as surprising as finding kale in a barbecue joint, NBA star Ja Morant has decided to swap out his firearms for something a bit more… medieval. After a couple of unsavory incidents involving guns—which, let’s be honest, didn’t exactly enhance his reputation—Morant’s gone through some serious soul-searching. And guess what? He’s now all about the swords! Yes, you heard that right! He’s presented himself as a reformed Grizzlies point guard who’s ready to wield everything from colossal claymores to nifty rapiers, all while ditching the metal that goes bang for the kind that goes whoosh. But can a sword really help him maintain his cool on the court, or is he just trying to channel his inner samurai? And what, pray tell, does his new obsession mean for his career and on-court conduct? Buckle up, because this journey from guns to gleaming blades is just as wild as an unguarded fast break! LEARN MORE.
SALT LAKE CITY—Saying he had learned his lesson following his suspensions by the NBA for two incidents in which he brandished firearms, a reformed Ja Morant told reporters Wednesday that he was way more into swords now. “I did some soul-searching during my time away from the game, and I realized guns should have no place in my life when swords look sick as hell and never get jammed or run out of ammo,” the Grizzlies point guard said before his team’s season opener against the Jazz, resting a massive 3.1-shaku ōdachi over his shoulder as he explained that while his main priority would be “big ass” swords like claymores and zweihänders, all edged weapons—from shamshirs and falchions to kunai and kukris—would be a focus for him going forward. “Owning guns made me a liability to my team, but owning a rapier and parrying dagger combo will let me effortlessly redirect opponents’ attacks while targeting gaps in their armor. That’s so much cooler than just blasting somebody. Thanks to my fans and my new sponsors at [sword and knife retailer] Cold Steel for helping me turn this corner in my life.” At press time, Morant had received a 25-game suspension after an Instagram video showed him intoxicated and performing the forbidden Whirlwind Slash technique outside a Salt Lake City nightclub.