“JD Vance’s Controversial Claim: Are Women’s Votes Being Swayed by ‘Menstrual Madness’?”
In a world where every election can feel like a circus, Ohio Senator JD Vance has taken the act to an entirely new level—nailing two-by-fours across his bedroom door in a dramatic showdown against what he refers to as “menstrual madness.” Yes, you read that right! Vance is raising concerns that millions of women, potentially driven to the polls by “crimson menace,” may threaten our democracy itself. Between cups of herbal remedies and spiritual guidance, he suggests women of childbearing age should be kept at a safe distance from polling sites. It seems like the stakes have never been higher, folks—will this election see a new wave of voting insanity, or is it just another absurd slice of political humor? If you’re itching for the full scoop on Vance’s colorful commentary, click here to LEARN MORE.
CINCINNATI—Moments after he frantically nailed two-by-fours across the closed door of the bedroom he shares with his wife, vice presidential candidate JD Vance issued a dire warning Wednesday, alerting the public that millions of women may vote under the influence of menstrual madness. “If they are permitted to cast ballots, then we risk allowing the next president of the United States to be chosen by this crimson menace,” said the Ohio senator, who before boarding up a bedroom window slid a metal tray with a cup of pills, ginger root, a wooden cross, and a Bible to Usha Vance, the mother of his three children. “Simply being in the presence of menstrual fluid can cause anyone—man, woman, or child—to lose their grip on sanity. All women of breeding age must be kept at least 500 feet away from polling sites to prevent a complete derangement of the American electorate. This is code red!” Vance added that as soon as Election Day was over, it would once more be safe to allow women outdoors to engage in tasks such as grocery shopping and taking the kids to and from school.
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