“Unveiling Secrets: Trump’s Shocking Revelation About Epstein and the Battle for Ivanka’s Affection”

In a twist that seems straight out of a reality show plot, Donald Trump has opened up about his once-close relationship with the notorious Jeffrey Epstein, only to reveal it crumbled over a rather absurd disagreement—dibs on his daughter, Ivanka. Yes, you’ve read that right! Trump insists that their friendship spiraled downward after a competitive spat over who gets to pursue Ivanka—a chilling revelation that’s equal parts laughable and perplexing. Could this be one of the most bizarre reasons for a rift between two very controversial figures? As we plunge deeper into this tableau of entitlement and ego, one can’t help but wonder: Is there any limit to the absurdity of celebrity relationships? For more bizarre insights and hilariously bizarre anecdotes, LEARN MORE.

PALM BEACH, FL—Asserting that the pair had not been close “for decades” prior to the financier’s death, Donald Trump admitted Friday that his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein was severed after a dispute over dibs on the former president’s daughter Ivanka Trump. “We had a very good time for many years, but it was unfortunately Ivanka who drove a wedge between us,” said the Republican presidential nominee, who explained that his friendship with the convicted sex trafficker “fell to pieces” after the two men failed to strike an agreement over who would get to pursue Trump’s eldest daughter. “He didn’t want to share. I didn’t want to share, either. We were very competitive that way. I said any future daughters could be his, but I think he knew I was bluffing. Besides, it’s not like anyone wanted Tiffany.” Reached for comment, a spokesperson for the Trump campaign denied Trump had just said those things.