“Unmasking Susie Wiles: The Power Player Behind Trump’s Next Move”
In a move that’s set to raise eyebrows and maybe a few other body parts, President-elect Donald Trump has appointed his campaign co-chair Susie Wiles as the new White House chief of staff. Now, this isn’t your average hire for a power position—oh no! As The Onion delightfully guides us through the quirky yet strangely fascinating background of this political strategist, we can’t help but wonder: what exactly qualifies someone to hold the reins of one of the most critical jobs in the nation? With favorite meeting times, celebrity crushes, and a knack for Candy Crush during rallies, Susie seems like the perfect fit for a President known for his colorful approach to governance. Get ready to delve into the wonderfully absurd world of Wiles, where politics meets personality in a way we can all chuckle about! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Susie-WilesINFO-G-PH.jpg”>LEARN MORE.
President-elect Donald Trump has announced that campaign co-chair Susie Wiles will serve as his White House chief of staff. The Onion takes a look at the political strategist’s background and credentials.
Favorite Meeting Time: 10:45 a.m.
Eyes: Soulless but not yet dead
Nickname Trump Uses When She’s Not Around: Paula Deen
Tax Bracket: Looking up
Go-To Phone Game During Trump Rallies: Candy Crush
Friends: A liability
Vacation Style: Grumpy on the beach
Celebrity Crush: Stephen Miller
Words To Live By: “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Abortions: 1979, 1981, 1989, 1992
