“Why the Bold Choice to Omit a Beloved Dance Scene in the New ‘Odyssey’ Adaptation Has Fans Up in Arms”

In a world where epic tales are reimagined with the flare of modern sensibilities, one adaptation has set the classicists’ world ablaze! The Return, a fresh take on Homer’s iconic Odyssey, has found itself in hot water for something that seems downright scandalous—dancing! Yes, that’s right! Scholars are crying foul, claiming the omission of the original poem’s celebratory group dance ending is like serving a burger without the patty. Who knew that Polyphemus the cyclops cutting a rug with his sheep was the secret sauce that makes The Odyssey legendary? As intellectuals debate whether Telemachus should really be doing the running man—or if Circe ought to lead a soul train through the treacherous waters of myth—one can’t help but wonder: what are we losing in this dance-off of fidelity to the source material? Can we really call it a retelling if we don’t see Penelope’s revived suitors shimmy into the spotlight? Grab your popcorn, because this is one theatrical debate you won’t want to miss! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/NewOdysseyNIBFUSC.webp”>LEARN MORE.

LOS ANGELES—Drawing widespread condemnation from classics scholars around world, the new Odyssey adaptation The Return was criticized this week for dropping the original work’s group dance scene ending. “Homer’s decision to close his epic poem with a blowout ensemble dance number is essential to the story of Odysseus’ journey, and any adaptation that omits the whole cast coming together to bust a groove can hardly be considered a faithful retelling,” said noted classicist Phyllis Ballantine, adding that Penelope’s executed suitors returning from the dead to launch into a raucous kickline had been the very passage that first drew her to ancient Greek poetry. “When you excise Polyphemus the cyclops doing the electric slide with his sheep while the sirens sing an uptempo doo-wop number about love, you lose a vital part of The Odyssey’s soul. We need to see Telemachus do the running man. We need to see Circe lead the lotus-eaters in a soul train between Scylla and Charybdis. But sadly, The Return has little interest in staying true to the original text.” Critics nevertheless praised The Return for its post-credits scene in which Odysseus asks what the audience is still doing there before telling them to go home.