“Pete Hegseth’s Controversial Take: Why the Inclusion of Women in Combat Might Be a ‘Turnoff’ for Some”

In a classic episode of “Did he really just say that?”, prospective Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has stirred the pot once again with comments that are equal parts convoluted and cringe-worthy. After initially making headlines with his takes on women in combat, he’s now attempted to clarify his position–yet somehow, this only seems to amplify the absurdity. Isn’t it fascinating (and a bit disheartening) that in a world grappling with gender equality, we still have to hear someone tell us that the sight of a female soldier in uniform is a “real boner killer”? Join me as we dive into Hegseth’s baffling logic, where respect for servicewomen somehow collides with bizarre beauty standards. What does this say about perceptions of femininity in the military? Spoiler: it’s complicated… and somewhat ridiculous! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/PeteHegsethClarifiesNIBPH.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—In an evident attempt to walk back previous inflammatory statements, prospective Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth clarified Thursday that although he now believes women should be allowed in combat roles, he still sees that as a huge turnoff. “While I want to state that I have nothing but respect for the female troops serving our country, it’s important to stress that thinking about that sort of thing is a real boner killer,” said Hegseth, adding that even a “total knockout, 10 out of 10″ would be marked down several points in his book if she were dressed up in a baggy, shapeless military uniform and given an assault rifle. “Personally, I believe there are several aspects of their biology that make women far better equipped to be sexy back on the homefront. It also really grosses me out thinking of them with, like, a butch buzz cut and muscles. It should be up to each individual servicewoman to decide whether she wants to be deployed to the front lines and turned into a total uggo. If not, there’s certainly a lot of room for them to look like absolute bombshells dressed as Army nurses.” Hegseth went on to suggest his mind might be changed if the military dress code were amended to require female soldiers to wear only a camouflage bra and panties on the battlefield.