“Unlock the Secrets: Discover the Most Coveted Christmas Toys That Defined Generations!”
The holiday frenzy is officially upon us! Parents across the U.S. are diving headfirst into a shopping frenzy that makes Black Friday look like a calm Sunday stroll. As we find ourselves caught up in this merry chaos, it’s hard not to wonder: what delights did children dream of in decades past? In a festive twist, The Onion takes us on a whimsical journey through the most beloved Christmas toys throughout history—each one embodying the hopes, dreams, and sometimes sheer absurdity of gift-giving. From wooden cuts of a mustachioed president to a rock that became a pet, these toys reflect not just what kids wanted, but what parents were willing to buy—or maybe just accept as a last-minute gift. So grab a cup of cocoa and let’s unwrap some nostalgia together! LEARN MORE
Millions of parents across the U.S. are scrambling to complete their holiday shopping. In honor of the season, The Onion looks at the history of the most popular Christmas toys.
1877: Millions of trees are felled across the country to keep up with children’s demands for woodcuts of President Rutherford B. Hayes.
1933: Do you think papa wanted to give you an old potato skin for Christmas, son? Look at me. Look at me, son!
1945: Children across the country were ecstatic to receive a Slinky—a goddamn giant spring. And now they expect me to shell out for an Oculus?
1959: The six-decade-long marketing campaign for Greta Gerwig’s 2023 summer blockbuster begins with the introduction of the Barbie doll.
1963: The Easy Bake Oven is released, priming the nation’s socially inept children for years of preparing single-serving meals.
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