“Will This Foster Child’s Christmas Wish Shift from Paperwork to Permanence?”

In a heartwarming yet hilariously plucky twist on the classic Christmas morning unveil, local foster child Dylan Mayfield found himself confronted with an unexpectedly unwrapped gift: a plain envelope signalling his adoption! Now, one can only imagine the mixed emotions swirling within him as he excitedly anticipates belonging to the Johnson family, while simultaneously wishing for something that screams “Santa was here!”—like the basketball or dirt bike he had his heart set on. Is it too much to ask for both love and a shiny new toy? As Dylan navigates the fine line between joy and disappointment, he finds himself in a relatable predicament that leaves us all pondering one profound question: where exactly does adoption fit into the Christmas gift hierarchy? After all, nothing says “welcome to the family” quite like a few sheets of legalese—that are definitely not wrapped in festive paper! To dive deeper into Dylan’s quirky Christmas story, click here: <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/FosterChildNIBGPH.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

CHARLOTTE, NC—After finding only a large, plain envelope with his name on it under the tree, local foster child Dylan Mayfield reportedly began to worry Wednesday that the few measly sheets of paper solidifying his adoption would be his only Christmas present this year. “That was a really nice gesture and all, and they seemed so excited, but I specifically asked for a basketball or a dirt bike,” said the newly minted permanent member of the local Johnson family, feigning a smile as he secretly prayed that the legal document was only the first of many presents he would open on the morning of Dec. 25. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited about officially becoming part of their family, but if they had given me the choice, I probably would have picked the new Lego Horizon Adventures game. I’m sure the lawyers and the whole process cost a lot of money, but this doesn’t really account for Santa—did he not swing by with anything from my list? At least let me open up something wrapped in festive paper. I’d even settle for a bow slapped on a bag of candy.” Mayfield told reporters he had tried to trade with his foster sister for a better gift, only to find out she got the same boring thing.