“Why Americans Are Suddenly Stockpiling Moose: The Surprising Impact of Upcoming Tariffs!”

In an unexpected twist of economic prioritization, Americans are apparently kicking it up a notch—by stockpiling moose ahead of looming tariffs on Canadian imports. Yes, you heard that right! As the nation collectively panics about potential price hikes, citizens are frantically loading their carts with these majestic hoofed creatures, believing six moose might just keep their families safe from a future mooseless existence. What’s next, folks? Should we be considering a fall-back plan involving elk or, dare I say, beaver? The absurdity of it all has us pondering the curious relationship between tariffs and our appetites for the great outdoors. Might we find ourselves in a moose-filled crisis, or is this just another delightful chapter in the wacky world of surprise market behavior? Buckle up, because it’s about to get wild! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/AmericansStartStockpilingNIBPH.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—Rushing to purchase the hoofed mammals before the Trump administration’s tariffs on Canadian imports went into effect, Americans across the country were reportedly stockpiling moose on Monday. “Prices of moose are already high, and I’m worried with these tariffs, they could surge even higher,” said 43-year-old Iowa City, IA resident Zachary Beattie, who was just one of millions of Americans loading up their shopping carts and stuffing the trunks of their cars with the largest member of the deer family. “The president says this will strengthen the power of the American moose, but I don’t know. All I’m saying is when the time comes, I’m not going to be caught mooseless. I have a wife and kids to think about, so hopefully six moose is enough.” At press time, the U.S. populace was hopeful the month-long delay on Mexico tariffs would grant them ample time to stock up on jaguars.