“Inside the Family Feud: Trump’s Sons Attempt to Alter Barron’s Future with Shocking DEI Claims”

In a world where sibling rivalry can escalate faster than a Twitter feud, it seems the Trump Boys are taking competition to new heights—complete with dramatic sobbing and imaginative deportations! Picture the scene: Donald Jr. and his crew are convinced their lives are in shambles, thanks to Barron wielding the “unfair advantage” of being, well, different. It’s a classic case of “Why can’t I have what he’s having?”, mixed in with a sprinkle of overblown indignation and a dash of absurdity. Who knew family dynamics could pack so much drama? As they don their helmets and apron uniforms for a mission to “Guacamole Bay,” one has to wonder: is it sibling rivalry at its finest or just another day in the Trump household? <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/JealousTrumpBoysNIBIHA_GR.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—Whining that they were being discriminated against even though they were the “bestest sons ever in the whole wide world,” the Trump Boys attempted Thursday to convince their father that Barron was getting unfair advantages because he was a DEI. “Daddy, Barron is ruining our lives because he’s different,” said a pouting Donald Jr., who sobbed while describing how their little brother received preferential treatment even though he couldn’t do cartwheels, play basketball, or make fart noises as good as they could. “If we don’t do something, soon it’ll be nothing but Barron Trumps around here. We think it’s time to fire him from the family forever, and then send him back to wherever REIs [sic] come from!” At press time, the Trump boys had put on baseball helmets and aprons and rushed into Barron’s room to deport him to “Guacamole Bay” [sic].