“RFK Jr.’s Controversial Claim: Can a Skincare Solution Really Tame Measles?”

In a bizarre twist of health advice from the nation’s capitol, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has taken to quite the unconventional remedy for the measles outbreak sweeping through West Texas and New Mexico. Instead of the usual vaccination campaigns or public health warnings, Kennedy has astonishingly suggested that a good concealer could be the key to curing this highly contagious disease. It’s a head-scratcher that begs the question: do we really just need to cover up our ailments rather than fix them? As he promotes a makeup tutorial using products from his wife’s line, there’s no doubt this statement will leave many wondering—what’s next, a beauty routine for battling the flu? It’s a wild ride through the intersection of public health and cosmetic advice that you won’t want to miss. <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/RFKJrClaims_Measles-NIB-PH.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—In the wake of a growing outbreak that has sickened hundreds and killed two in West Texas and New Mexico, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed Friday that measles could be cured with a good concealer. “If you contract measles or suspect you have contracted measles, I recommend immediately applying a high-quality, full-coverage liquid or cream color corrector to affected areas,” said Kennedy, who added that HHS was rushing to distribute facial cleanser, foundation, and 10-ounce tubes of L’Oréal Infallible to pharmacies in the region. “Our nation’s top infectious disease doctors recommend anyone who has been exposed to measles immediately use a ring light to assess their skin, apply a dab of 24-hour concealer, and then smooth with a brush or Beautyblender makeup sponge. The truth is, if Americans just had proper access to lightweight cosmetic products capable of hiding blemishes, eliminating uneven skin tone, and highlighting natural complexion, measles could be eradicated.” At press time, Kennedy had released a makeup tutorial where he demonstrated how to apply concealer manufactured by his wife Cheryl Hines’ makeup company for extra measles protection.