“Unlocking the Secrets: How One Woman’s Passions Shape Her Entire Identity”

In a world where being “basic” has somehow turned into the ultimate insult, one woman from Norfolk, VA, is turning heads—though perhaps not in the way she intended. Meet Madison Derry, the embodiment of “basic,” whose sunny disposition and unabashed joy for life’s little pleasures are causing a stir among her less-than-enthused peers. Just imagine this: a person who enjoys her favorite clothes, movies, and—gasp—maintains loving relationships with her family and spouse. What’s next? Baking cupcakes for friends? Kelly Olsen and her crew have taken it upon themselves to scoff at Derry’s relentless pursuit of happiness, arguing that authentic originality lies in pretentiousness—because who needs joy when you can keep up a facade of cynicism? Join me as we dive into this hilariously absurd perspective on happiness and authenticity that’ll have you questioning just how far some people will go to seem “unique.” LEARN MORE.

NORFOLK, VA—Rolling their eyes at her mindless embrace of that which brings her happiness in life, sources confirmed Tuesday that basic woman Madison Derry’s entire personality revolves around things she enjoys. “I honestly kind of cringe seeing how Maddy just goes along with what naturally appeals to her,” said local woman Kelly Olsen, who scoffed at how Derry’s taste in everything from clothing to movies and music appears to be dictated not by a need to project a certain image of herself but by how much she likes those things. “Imagine being such a normie that you only like things that bring genuine joy to your life. She hasn’t made any effort to look past all this stuff she finds meaning and beauty in to see why she should be embarrassed by it. Doesn’t she ever give a thought to what random strangers might think of her? She should try being a little original and force herself to pretend she hates what she likes. That’s way more authentic.” According to reports, Olsen and some of her friends recently spent an entire hour scrolling through Derry’s Instagram and laughing at the triteness of her loving relationships with her parents and husband.