“Divine Delusion: How a ‘Miraculous’ Communion Wafer Was Unmasked as a Bacterial Surprise”

In a startling revelation that has likely left a congregation in Indiana scratching their heads—and perhaps their noses—parishioners have learned that what they thought was the miraculous blood of Christ on their communion wafers is actually a delightful concoction of fungus and a merry trio of bacteria typically found lounging on human hands. This begs a question: Is this the kind of “holy communion” we signed up for, or is it more like a scientific experiment gone awry? One can’t help but chuckle at the potential new branding—“Fungus of Christ,” anyone? This eyebrow-raising turn of events leaves us pondering the line between faith and science, and, perhaps more importantly, how many more experiences at church might require a good dose of hand sanitizer! Curious for more on this unusual twist in spiritual communion? LEARN MORE.

Following a biochemical analysis, parishioners of an Indiana church were informed that the red substance on a communion wafer they thought to be the blood of Christ was actually fungus and three different species of bacteria commonly found on human hands. What do you think?

“He never said what form he would come back in.”

Doug Martin, Figurine Reviewer

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“Still a neat party trick.”

Donna Waldon, Unemployed

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“‘Fungus of Christ’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

Bob Fritsch, Tube Bender