“Unlock Your Future: Clearblue’s Surprising New Test Includes a Free Flight Voucher for New Beginnings!”

In a gutsy move that might just take your breath away—along with your bank account—Clearblue has decided to hand out flight vouchers with its pregnancy tests. Yes, you read that right! In a world where access to abortion care is a hot-button issue, the famed pregnancy test maker has introduced a $100 air travel credit for anyone who’s ever wondered, “Was that a missed period or just last night’s burrito?” As if dealing with potential life changes wasn’t dizzying enough, now you can book a flight to a blue state to explore your options, all while testing whether you’re in for parenthood or just a wild weekend getaway! Talk about raising the stakes—and the mileage! So, for those suddenly realizing they might need a quick escape, let’s dive into this provocative mix of humor and real talk about reproductive health—and don’t forget your boarding pass! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/NewClearBlue_NIB-IHA-GR-R.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—In an effort to help customers living in areas with little or no access to abortion care, Clearblue announced Monday that its pregnancy tests sold in the U.S. market would now come with a flight voucher in case the result was positive. “Starting today, our home diagnostic products will include a generous $100 credit that can be used for air travel across state lines,” said company spokeswoman Felicity Roberts, adding that all Clearblue digital pregnancy tests, Flip and Click tests, and rapid-detection tests would come with a code that could be used to purchase a domestic round-trip ticket to a blue state of the customer’s choice. “Thanks to our patented early-detection technology, you can get on a plane, into an Uber, and on your way to the clinic up to five days earlier than you can with other tests. But don’t delay! This offer is only valid for 24 weeks after conception.” Roberts added that Clearblue customers who tested positive and wanted to continue the pregnancy were free to use the voucher for one last vacation before the hospital bill for their upcoming childbirth financially ruined them.