RFK Jr. Stuns Crowd by Urging Americans to Uncover the Hidden Truth About Dragons

Here’s a spicy little brainteaser for your morning—if a Cabinet secretary tells you to ignore the so-called “experts” and do your own research on dragons, are you more likely to buy a book, boot up Skyrim, or just ask ChatGPT? Because frankly, when Robert F. Kennedy Jr. pops up with an official PSA urging Americans to challenge the mainstream dragon narrative—well, I nearly choked on my coffee . Can you imagine a White House presser where the Q&A is all about wyverns, ice breath, and Gold-hoarding lizard propaganda? Honestly, you’d think the man just discovered Reddit. But here we are, questioning the establishment’s fiery lizard agenda, sifting through fanfiction for clues, and nervously side-eyeing those gangly, mustachioed Chinese dragons like they’re trying to sell us essential oils . If you’ve ever wondered what happens when political skepticism collides with medieval mythology—and why it’s time to look beyond Game of Thrones—trust me, this is pure gold. Ready to drag the truth out of its cave? LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—Claiming the fantastical creatures were “way too cool” to leave their investigation to a handful of so-called experts, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a statement Friday encouraging Americans to do their own research about dragons. “People, especially new parents looking for awesome bedtime stories, need to be reading everything they can possibly find about these ancient and powerful beings instead of blindly accepting the narrow range of depictions put forth by the mainstream media,” Kennedy wrote in a statement published on his department’s website, adding that too many Americans only believed what they had heard about dragons on Game Of Thrones while dismissing less conventional sources like Earthsea and the Dark Souls trilogy. “There’s a lot of misinformation out there claiming that something with two legs and wings is a dragon, but I’ve read enough to know that’s a wyvern and not a true dragon, which has four legs. There are some great subreddits on them. Just yesterday I read a romantasy fan fiction suggesting that dragons are capable of forming emotional and even sexual relationships with humans, but the establishment wants to bury anything that challenges the official narrative that dragons are big, evil lizards who hoard gold. Take it from me: Anyone who tells you dragons only breathe fire is lying to your face. They can breathe ice or acid or curses, be good or evil, and speak any number of languages, but it’s up to you to come to your own conclusions about how much dragons rule.” The statement went on to say that while Americans should approach dragons with an open mind, they should remain skeptical of Chinese propaganda depicting them as lame floating snakes with mustaches.