“Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning: Secrets, Shocks, and What’s Really at Stake in Ethan Hunt’s Last Mission”
Just when you thought the Mission: Impossible series had run out of ways to dangle Tom Cruise over certain doom, along comes The Final Reckoning—the eighth entry promising even more pulse-pounding action, computer-generated eyebrows, and, if box office analysts are to be believed, a small country’s GDP in ticket sales . But do you ever stop and wonder—at what point does a mission become, well, way too possible? Honestly, even the Evil Villain AI seems to be running out of fresh ways to chase Ethan Hunt around the globe, and Tom Cruise now seems more likely to escape gravity itself than mere henchmen . This, my friends, is why The Onion has heroically accepted the task of briefing you on everything you never knew you needed to know about the latest wildly explosive blockbuster—because let’s face it, the real impossible mission is keeping a straight face through these stunts . Ready to see what absurdities they’ve cooked up this time? LEARN MOREMission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning, the eighth installment in the series, is expected to be another box-office smash. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film.
Q: Who is directing?
A: Christopher McQuarrie with a gun pointed at his head by Tom Cruise.
Q: What stunts does Tom Cruise pull off in this one?
A: He manages to deliver several monologues about a computer villain called “the Entity” while maintaining a straight face.
Q: Isn’t Tom Cruise a Scientologist?
A: No. He’s Impossible Missions Force agent Ethan Hunt.
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