Office Heroic or Hopeless? IT Guy’s Stoic Ritual With Carpal Tunnel Braces Raises Deep Questions

Ever notice how the true warriors of the modern office don’t wield swords, but instead bravely strap on carpal tunnel braces and face down error messages like they’re storming the beaches of Normandy? I mean, who among us hasn’t seen that wild-eyed IT specialist, nerves of steel, sipping that suspiciously old coffee and prepping for battle—while we cross our fingers and hope our embarrassing browser tabs don’t make a cameo? There’s something absolutely poetic (and maybe just a smidge tragic) about the ritual: roll up the sleeves, tighten the Velcro, and then dive head-first into the abyss of printer malfunctions and “forgotten” passwords . But really, is there anything more harrowing in the digital age than the quiet courage of an IT guy who’s accepted the possibility of hand cramps as an occupational hazard? Get ready to witness heroism like you’ve never seen before. <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/ITGuySlipsNIBIHAPHcopy.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

COLUMBUS, OH—Locked into a steely focus while readying himself for the task at hand, area IT support specialist Jeff Miller reportedly prepared to address a tech issue Thursday by slipping on his carpal tunnel braces with the calm of a soldier prepared to die in battle. “Okay, let me take a look,” Miller said in a measured-yet-intense murmur, taking a sip of lukewarm coffee as if it might be his last and slipping on the braces with the stone-cold, unfeeling disposition of a grizzled veteran, his furrowed brow suggesting he was prepared to make any sacrifice in his attempt to troubleshoot the tech issue before him while preventing strain to his wrists. “I think I know what the issue is, but I’m just going to try a couple things. Shouldn’t take too long.” At press time, sources reported that Miller had collapsed and called out desperately for a medic after developing a cramp in the ring finger of his right hand.