Unpacking Trump’s Mysterious Mega-Bill: What’s Really Inside?
Ever stare at a government bill and wonder, “Who packed this grab bag of oddities and called it law?” Buckle up, because President Trump’s freshly minted “One Big Beautiful Bill Act” just bulldozed through the Senate—yes, by a whisker—and now it’s rattling around the House like a rogue Roomba in Congress. As someone who lives for baffling legislative Easter eggs (and, honestly, some SEO magic), I can’t help but picture the room where this was written—a coupon-clipping warlord, a sassy centerfold, and perhaps a rogue ice cream alchemist, all feverishly collaborating between sips of ShopRite Coca-Cola . Is your state still on the map? Is your health insurance about to be replaced by a glossy photo? Is Jeb Bush OK? If this is what “beautiful” looks like, remind me what “messy” is… Prepare yourself for the wildest, weirdest, most accidentally-on-purpose budget bill highlights you could possibly imagine . LEARN MORE
President Donald Trump’s budget megabill is in the House of Representatives after being narrowly passed by the Senate. Here are the key items in “The One Big Beautiful Bill Act.”
Funding for something called “The Facility.”
Smaller, phone booth–sized detention boxes on every American street corner.
Coupon for “buy two get one free” 12-packs of Coca-Cola products at ShopRite.
A few new mean nicknames for Jeb Bush.
A map of California inside a red circle with a cross through it.
A glossy centerfold photo of a hot woman who is about to lose her health insurance.
The end of treatment for those currently receiving CPR.
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