Why Was This Tile Store Furious Over a Little League Pizza Party?

Is loyalty measured by jersey sponsors or cheese pulls? Just when you think you’ve seen every quirky sponsorship saga, along comes Ithaca’s own tile titan—“offended,” no less, because pizza elbowed out porcelain on the postseason party circuit . Call me sentimental, but I’ve never watched a Little League game and thought, “These kids can’t wait to high-five grout samples at the tile store!” Yet that’s exactly the monologue running through Griffin Cronin’s gravel-dusted brain right now . Of course, when a tile shop gets upstaged by a pizza parlor—mortar versus mozzarella, anyone?—maybe it’s time we ask the million-dollar question: What sort of afterparty snacks could possibly compete with a fresh stack of subway tiles? Hint: not even the most artisanal of grout spreads . It’s enough to make any marketer sigh—and, candidly, maybe reoptimize their in-store conversion funnel . Feeling intrigued? Wondering how a credit union lobby became an actual party venue? You’re not alone . LEARN MORE.

ITHACA, NY—Scoffing at the idea that the players would be able to properly honor their victory anywhere else, the owner of local tile store All Stone and Tile was reportedly offended Tuesday that the Little League baseball team he sponsored had celebrated its win at a pizza place instead. “So I guess we spent several hours setting aside all these tiles we know the kids would love for nothing, huh?” said owner Griffin Cronin, who launched into a diatribe against Sal’s Pizzeria, mocking the restaurant for using mortar instead of thinset between the checkered slabs decorating its dining area. “Apparently all we’re good for is paying for the jerseys, equipment, and field maintenance. The true loyalties of these 11-year-olds lie elsewhere, despite everything we’ve done for the brats. What do they want from us? To sell pizzas instead? Then we would be abandoning our core principles as a tile store, for crying out loud!” At press time, Cronin was wondering aloud if he might be the problem after learning the team sponsored by Alternatives Federal Credit Union happily had convened in the financial institution’s lobby to revel in its recent playoff victory.