What Would Happen If Medicaid Funding Disappeared Overnight?
Isn’t it just the most American thing to watch Congress play Operation with our health care and somehow lose the tweezers? This week, the GOP traded in their stethoscopes for sledgehammers and passed Trump’s so-called “Big Beautiful Bill”—yep, the legislation that slashed public health care funding by more than $1 trillion . Imagine Medicaid as a piñata, except when it breaks open, all you get is a co-pay bill and a bus ticket to the nearest “shamanic healer.” I mean, how many people need to “walk it off” before we realize running shoes are not covered? Did I wake up in a new dystopian insurance plan or is this just politics as usual? If you’ve ever wondered whether your shot at a liver transplant improves after a $1 trillion budget cut—stick around for a tour-de-force breakdown of the pros and cons that’s part tragedy, part comedy… mostly comedy. Buckle in for a ride packed with more surprises than a surprise medical bill. LEARN MORE
GOP lawmakers in the House and Senate officially passed Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” including provisions that slashed funding for public health care programs by more than $1 trillion. The Onion examines the pros and cons of these steep cuts to Medicaid.
PRO
Will finally motivate poor Americans who’ve been putting off becoming billionaires
Fewer people alive to compete for defunded SNAP benefits
U.S. poised for renaissance of shamanic healing
Street value of expired medicines about to skyrocket
Just jumped 17,000 spots on liver transplant list
Scenic, 200-mile drive to local hospital
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