Retiree’s Unusual Hobby: The Surprising Ways One Woman Defends Trump’s Every Move

Ever wonder if the secret to eternal youth isn’t buried in a kale smoothie, but instead in the art of the impossible—like defending every bizarre move a head of state manages to hatch? I caught myself laughing, then pondering, then feeling oddly inspired by Edna Connolly, who’s cracked the code for brain fitness—not with crosswords, but by performing the mental gymnastics required to justify President Trump’s every head-spinning maneuver . Is Edna a genius or just enduring a self-imposed cognitive obstacle course to keep her neurons nimble? Either way, there’s something uniquely hilarious—and, dare I say, awe-inspiring—about someone turning political rationalization into their personal Sudoku . For a wild ride through Edna’s labyrinth of logic (and maybe a few new neural pathways of your own), LEARN MORE.

LEXINGTON, KY—Stressing the importance of regularly performing mental gymnastics to prevent cognitive decline, local 80-year-old Edna Connolly confirmed Thursday that she keeps her mind active by justifying President Donald Trump’s actions. “I try to break out of my routine and engage my mind by rationalizing what the president is doing, even when it’s completely against the promises he made to voters,” said Connolly, explaining that she spends at least 30 minutes a day improving her mental faculties and problem solving skills by making excuses for Trump’s constant attacks on civil liberties. “I’m developing new neural pathways each time I shrug off Trump’s clear violations of the Constitution and his total contempt for our system of checks and balances. You know, I have some friends who didn’t spend time rationalizing Trump’s actions, and they ended up in nursing homes.” At press time, Connolly was reportedly stimulating her creativity by justifying the president’s decision to reverse course on releasing the Epstein files.