Trump Issues Startling Ultimatum: No Stadium Deal Unless Commanders Revert to Old Name
What’s in a name? Well, these days—absolutely everything, apparently. Sit down for this: President Donald Trump is taking a break from his regularly scheduled chaos to, of all things, pick a fight with the Washington Commanders over their team name. Not content to just mutter from the sidelines, he’s now threatening to torpedo an NFL stadium deal unless the team reverts to a title that’s about as welcome as a pop-up ad on dial-up. Can you picture the brainstorming session behind that move? Somewhere in a conference room, billionaires and politicians are passionately debating whether “Commanders” is truly offensive enough. Meanwhile, the rest of us just want football, nachos, and not another headline that feels like satire. Oh, and here’s the million-dollar question—how did “making ‘commander’ a slur” become an actual suggestion? The world’s gone barmy. Curious to see what other wild compromises are floating around? LEARN MORE.
President Donald Trump called for the Washington Commanders to change their name back to a previous one deemed offensive to Native Americans, threatening the NFL team’s stadium deal if they refuse. What do you think?
“What about ‘The Cobras?’ That would be a good name, I think.”
Ralph Covey, Corn Shucker
“Making ‘commander’ a racial slur might be a good compromise.”
Stephanie Geddes, Lens Bender
“Honestly, his long-term memory is in better shape than I thought.”
Erik Wetmore, Trophy Engraver
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