Did Trump’s Crime Claims Miss the Mark? Unraveling the Shocking Truth
When was the last time you heard a presidential claim and didn’t immediately want to Google “fact check: is this real life?” If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you mixed political theater with actual theater (plus a hint of $9 coffee panic), you’re in the right place . President Donald Trump’s eyebrow-raising declarations about rampant crime have been echoing across the airwaves—with D.C. painted as Gotham and Chicago looking over its shoulder. But are the nation’s capitals of coffee and “cesspools” truly out of control, or is it all just a dramatic retelling meant to rival a Broadway musical? I can’t help but laugh and shake my head as we break down these wild claims—one punchline at a time. Buckle up for one very irreverent, slightly incredulous, and thoroughly caffeinated truth quest. LEARN MORE
President Donald Trump has claimed that crime is “out of control” in the nation’s capital and beyond. The Onion assesses the veracity of the president’s claims.
Claim: D.C. has endured a record amount of robberies.
Partially true: Some places in Georgetown sell a cup of coffee for $9.
Claim: Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles are crime-ridden cesspools.
False: These cities are safe, vibrant cesspools.
Claim: The National Guard is being deployed to crack down on crime.
False: The National Guard is being deployed to give Stephen Miller an erection.
Claim: Just last week, a high-ranking politician was shot in the head at a D.C. theater.
False: Trump is mixing up last week with April 14, 1865.
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