What’s Lurking in Your Shrimp? Walmart Shellfish Under Fire After FDA Radioactivity Alert

Shrimp cocktail, anyone? You know, nothing spices up a dinner party quite like the thrill of radioactive isotopes—especially when they’re not even listed in the ingredients. So, the FDA says our beloved Great Value raw frozen shrimp could have a dash of Cesium-137. I’ll be honest—when I buy discount seafood in bulk from Walmart, I expect a little risk … but nuclear fallout wasn’t exactly on my bingo card. What’s a little ionizing radiation between friends, right? Is this new variety supposed to glow in the dark, or am I just trying to justify my wild cravings for late-night shrimp scampi? All joking aside, does anyone even know what Cesium-137 pairs with—white wine, maybe? Or is it more of a red? Anyway, if you’re curious whether to panic, call a physicist, or just add extra lemon, the world wants your take—shrimp with a side of existential dread, coming right up! LEARN MORE .

The Food and Drug Administration warned Americans not to consume Great Value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmart due to possible contamination with the radioactive isotope Cesium-137. What do you think?

“Look, if you can’t handle a little poisoning, you have no place in the discount shrimp game to begin with.”

Charles Topel, Footage Analyst

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“Nothing a little Cajun seasoning can’t fix.”

Jim Speare, Fencepost Installer

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“But I’m naturally deficient in Cesium-137.”

Rebecca Ponce, Retired Biochemist