Why Did Graham Platner Rush to Tattoo Over His Penis? The Surprising History He Discovered

Ever find yourself lying awake at night, questioning the historical baggage lurking behind, well, your own anatomy? No? Me neither—at least, not until today. It turns out, we’re not the only ones haunted by the past of the parts we carry around (and, let’s face it, try not to Google too much) . In this razor-sharp satirical exposé from The Onion, we meet Graham Platner, a man so troubled by the problematic backstory of his own penis that he went full tattoo-artist-camo-mode just to cover it up . Is this enlightenment or simply another detour down the winding path of modern “wokeness”? Take a moment, let your curiosity tingle a bit, and consider—what would you do if your private bits were plagued by bad PR? LEARN MORE