Antichrist’s Silent Rebellion: What Really Happened During Peter Thiel’s Lecture?
If there’s one thing I never thought I’d see, it’s the Antichrist—yes, that Antichrist—burning through his last shred of patience at a Peter Thiel lecture . I mean, when you picture the literal Beast, you expect the room to be filled with plumes of smoke, maybe some hellfire, not awkward eye-rolling because a tech billionaire’s mangling his doomsday lore . Is there, somewhere in the Book of Revelation, a verse about suffering fools with PowerPoint decks? While most of us would probably be thrilled to slide undetected into the back row, apparently even the “Lawless One” has his limits—and when the talk drifts to Greta Thunberg as a candidate for the Antichrist, well, let’s just say patience isn’t an eternal virtue . If you’ve ever wondered just how petty the apocalypse could get, this article is for you . LEARN MORE
ROME—In addition to crossing his arms and shaking his head as he listened to the tech billionaire spread blatant misinformation about the End Times, the Antichrist reportedly rolled his eyes Monday throughout a lecture given by Peter Thiel. “This second-rate charlatan doesn’t know the first goddamn thing about my plans to bring widespread doom,” said the Beast, who grimaced and exhaled black plumes of smoke from his nose while sitting in the front row of the 2,000-person auditorium. “It’s so annoying when armchair eschatologists discuss the Battle of Armageddon without really knowing jack shit. Inverting the order of Christ is something I’m super into, of course. But this guy barely scratches the surface of my schemes, and what details he does bring up are completely fucking wrong. Like, does he seriously think the U.N. has anything to do with the apocalypse? If his claims weren’t so laughable, I’d almost feel the need to publicly correct his dumb ass.” According to lecture attendees, the Lawless One grew fed up and stormed out of the building after Peter Thiel suggested the Antichrist might be Greta Thunberg.
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