Mysterious White House Silence After Bizarre Hyena Attack on Trump Sparks Frenzy
Ever have one of those days where you just want to focus on economic triumphs—but there’s a juvenile hyena gnawing on your backside and the press is obsessed? Maybe not, but if you’ve ever wondered how surreal the news cycle could get, today’s White House press briefing answers that question with a resounding cackle . I mean, who needs late-night comedy writers when political reality looks like an outtake from Planet Earth meets The West Wing? While the administration would prefer to direct our gaze toward the economy, the media can’t stop rewinding footage of Trump’s sartorial misfortunes courtesy of one determined spotted hyena . Is this a wild metaphor or just Friday in D.C.? You decide. LEARN MORE
WASHINGTON—Calling the attention the incident was receiving yet another example of liberal media bias, the White House downplayed on Friday the fact that a hyena was currently biting down on the ass of President Donald Trump. “No one should be surprised that all the scrutiny from the mainstream press is focused squarely on the spotted hyena with its jaws dug into the right buttock of the president and not on our historically prosperous economy,” said assistant press secretary Beni Rae Harmony, adding that there was sadly no accomplishment impressive enough to stop the media from running footage of the animal that had gnawed through the rear pocket of Trump’s suit pants and latched onto the flesh underneath. “Besides, this hyena is obviously just a juvenile that probably doesn’t weigh more than 80 pounds and lacks the mandible strength of a fully grown adult—but you won’t hear that in all the fake news headlines, let alone how tariffs have brought down prices across the country.” At press time, access to Trump had been cut off except for those media outlets that agreed not to mention that the president was now partially digested by a reticulated python.
RIVER OF GOODS Mid-Century Modern Transitional LED Bronze Chrome Ceiling Fan - 52" L x 52" W - Rich Barnwood/Light Driftwood Fan Blades - Metallic Ceiling Fan with Light and Fabric Shade
(as of October 10, 2026 00:57 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
White Leaf Baby Food Pouches, Toddler Snack, Mango + Carrot + Banana + Pear | 24 Pack, Organic No Added Sugar, Non-GMO, BPA-Free Regeneratively Farmed, Squeeze Puree Smoothie Pouch for Adults & Children
$69.95 (as of October 10, 2026 00:57 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Rhythm Superfoods Kale Chips, Zesty Nacho, Organic and Non-GMO, 2.0 Oz (Pack of 4), Vegan/Gluten-Free Superfood Snacks
(as of October 10, 2026 00:57 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Skater Trainer Wheels - Beginners get Skateboard Tricks Fast, Safe and Fun | Viral accessory gift - Helps beginners stay excited about their new skateboard - Kids & parents love these
$28.99 (as of October 10, 2026 00:57 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Post Comment