Alex Garland’s Surprising Elden Ring Confession: Where Did All the Budget Really Go?
What happens when a critically-acclaimed director, a mountain of A24’s cash, and a video game with a fandom that could storm the Gates of Hell itself all collide? Well, you get Alex Garland, $200 million, and a sudden obsession with maxing out DEX—yep, that’s Dexterity for the uninitiated. I mean, imagine budgeting for Hollywood royalty, only to end up with enough points in bow-handling and rapier-twirling to make Cirque du Soleil blush… while apparently forgetting to pay the poor actors. Is this real life or just another day in Garland’s fever dream? Personally, I’d love to see Spielberg try to pull off a “fat rolling” Nick Offerman, but hey, that’s what happens when you pick style over Vigor . Intrigued about how an Oscar-bait production became a stat-chasing madhouse? Oh, you’d better be—this is one behind–the-scenes disaster I can’t stop laughing about. LEARN MORE
NEW YORK—Voicing concern that he had misallocated much of the $200 million A24 had provided, director Alex Garland made remarks Thursday in which he expressed regret for having blown most of the budget for his Elden Ring movie adaptation on DEX. “Of course, it’s good to have some points in Dexterity given the bows and rapiers in the movie, but I’m starting to think I should have put some of that money toward makeup or sound editing or paying the actors,” said the filmmaker, adding that most of the cast and crew had already hit the stat’s second soft cap after the first $5 million. “It made sense to max out Kit Connor’s DEX for the big Waterfowl Dance sequence in the finale, but I probably could have gotten away with just giving the craft services people Radagon’s Soreseal and enough INT to run an air fryer. We had weeks of filming delays from injury because everyone only got base Vigor, and Nick Offerman’s Endurance was so low the poor guy was fat rolling before we even got him in costume. Man, I really fucked this up. No wonder Spielberg always uses a quality build.” At press time, Garland had reportedly used a Larval Tear to respec the film’s entire budget into Claymation.
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