AITA for Leaving My Niece and Nephew Behind on a Colorado Trip—But There’s a Surprising Reason Why?
“While some people love to be the ‘hero’ for their families, it’s not a role that everyone wants and always saying ‘yes’ can lead to resentment over time and actually do more to harm the relationship than help it,” Prof. Degges-White said. “And asking others for help with kids should only be done with folks who enjoy that role or in truly emergency situations when help is desperately and legitimately needed.”
It’s not uncommon for aunts and uncles to be the emergency contacts in unexpected situations. However, that often depends on the relationships they have with their siblings and the latters’ children. Talking about the role that aunts and uncles play in the lives of their nephews’ and nieces’, Dr. Suzanne Degges-White noted that every family is different and there is no one way that aunts and uncles should engage with their siblings’ kids.
“The role is likely affected by the sibling relationship that already exists – if siblings are close, the uncle and aunt role may reflect the same level of closeness and engagement. If there are family expectations on the roles that aunts and uncles play, that can influence the relationship with nieces and nephews, as well. It’s really wonderful when aunts, uncles, and other extended family members play a role in the lives of children – it helps them feel grounded and they learn about the value of family through the ways in which their family interacts.
“It’s never good to make assumptions, though, about what role other people want to play in the lives of one’s children,” she added. “There may be legitimate reasons that aunts or uncles cannot ‘be there’ in the way that a sibling wants them to be and healthy relationships reflect the respecting of others’ healthy boundaries.”
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