AITAH for Exploding at My Coworker Who Overstepped by ‘Disciplining’ My Child at Work BBQ?
“In some cultures or among former generations (particularly baby boomers), it is more acceptable to get involved and share opinions on how others should discipline their kids,” she explains.
Meanwhile, less self-aware people might not recognize when they step over the boundaries of others. “Some people may carry unresolved traumas and feel triggered in a situation to the point that they feel an urge to intervene, for example, in a case of bullying,” adds Molnar. Because a lot of us want to be listened to and heard or even assume authority, we can express that through disciplining others’ kids, too.
“At the end of the day, it is the parents’ job to protect the child, even when the child is disciplined by others”
Image credits: dimaberlin / freepik (not the actual photo)
When parents see their kids being disciplined by others, Molnar says they have every right to protect and defend their children, but it has to be done in a respectful manner.
“At the end of the day, it is the parents’ job to protect the child, even when the child is disciplined by others. I would recommend having a conversation with the person stepping in. If possible, I suggest taking three deep breaths (if the chat is immediate) to calm the nerves and triggers and then kindly asking the person to chat with you instead of disciplining the child. You can ask their side of the story and what the reason was that they felt called to get involved.”
Besides, instead of overstepping and disciplining others’ kids, people can find alternative ways to express discomfort with a child’s behavior. Molnar suggests reaching out to the parents or primary caregiver and having an open and honest chat with them.
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