Al Michaels Reveals the Untold Origins of Football for Surprised Latecomers
Ever wonder what would happen if a football commentary turned into a TED Talk and just never, ever stopped? Well, welcome to Thursday night in Orchard Park, where Al Michaels—yes, the Al Michaels—decided to fill every second between plays by recapping the entire 156-year history of American football. Imagine settling in for a cozy AFC rivalry and instead getting a jolt of ESPN meets “Ken Burns: The Tackle Years”, all narrated with the relentless zeal of someone who truly believes you need to know the nuances of the 1936 punt formation before you can enjoy a third-and-seven. Is it possible to watch a game, learn about Teddy Roosevelt, and still have time to refill your nachos? Apparently, in Al’s world, you better buckle up and cancel tomorrow’s plans . There’s something both hilarious and daunting about trying to follow the Dolphins, the Bills, and the emotional rollercoaster of the West Coast offense—all while your grandkids age a decade before halftime . Don’t blink, or you’ll miss the two-minute warning and a quick aside about Joe Montana’s coal mining ancestors . Is this what sports history heaven feels like—or is it more purgatory with color commentary? Either way, it’s a must-read. LEARN MORE.
ORCHARD PARK, NY—Providing context for anyone who might’ve missed the past 156 years of gridiron action, play-by-play announcer Al Michaels reportedly took time during Thursday night’s Dolphins-Bills game to recap the entire history of American football for viewers just tuning in. “Now, before we get to this 3rd-and-7, a little background for those just joining us: Football began in the 19th century as an adaptation of rugby and soccer, with the first known contest played in 1869 when Rutgers met Princeton in New Brunswick for a frigid afternoon of mud and mayhem, no helmets, no hash marks…” said Michaels midway through the first quarter, launching into what would become a game-long monologue covering hundreds of notable moments throughout the evolution of the game, a small number of which included Walter Camp’s rule changes, the advent of the forward pass (“Now here’s where the game becomes more chess than demolition derby”), Teddy Roosevelt’s safety reforms, the American Professional Football Association, the sport’s postwar surge in popularity, Paul Brown’s visionary coaching, The Greatest Game Ever Played, the AFL-NFL merger, the first Super Bowl, Mean Joe Greene’s Coke commercial, Roone Arledge’s broadcast innovations, the Immaculate Reception, the salary cap, decade-by-decade advancements in punt coverage, blitz packages, pylon cams, Jerry Jones’ Cowboys, the class-action concussion lawsuit, and key players from virtually every year over the past century. “…Of course, you can’t talk about the modern game without mentioning the West Coast offense, and you can’t mention the West Coast offense without exploring the legacy of Bill Walsh, who popularized the scheme with the 49ers in the ’80s and later saw it implemented by members of his coaching tree—Mike Holmgren, Jon Gruden, Andy Reid, John Harbaugh, Mike Shanahan, and Mike McCarthy as well as current Dolphins head coach Mike McDaniel, who, I should note, is absolutely livid down on the sideline right now. We’ll see what that’s all about in a moment, but back to the West Coast offense. Now, to fully understand how it shaped the league, I have to take a few minutes to explain how it shaped the career of a certain unheralded third-round pick out of Notre Dame by the name of Joe Montana, whose rugged upbringing in a small coal mining town set the foundation for what would become one of the greatest….” At press time, Michaels had begun a detailed breakdown of the 1994 season and its historical significance while the two-minute warning came and went.
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