Angst Rises In Locker Room After Translator Mysteriously Calls Ohtani ‘The Host’

Angst Rises In Locker Room After Translator Mysteriously Calls Ohtani ‘The Host’

Ohtani then exited the game, sparking injury concerns. While the Dodgers declined media requests to speak with Ohtani after the game, his interpreter emerged at a press conference.

“The Host prepares for the Ascension,” Ireton said in a trembling voice, his face pale and slick with sweat. “He must remain beneath wet towels until the moon completes its arc. Soon, the bases will clear, and the final inning will be played. The Host awaits on deck.”

At press time, the infield dirt began to smolder and throb, and the foul poles swayed in the windless sky. 

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